NVR: NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE

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NVR as a therapeutic approach was developed by clinical psychologist Haim Omer and a group of his students at the Tel Aviv University’s Department of Psychology in the mid-90’s. It started out as a counselling project to parents suffering from a loss of parental authority, facing disruptive behaviors in children. This work brought forward NVR’s very first implementation.

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Since its inception, NVR has grown to cover an entire range of specialized intervention approaches in areas such as organic family or foster and residential care relations, anxiety disorders, school interventions, ADHD, technology addiction in children, working with people on the Autistic spectrum and more.

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The ability to care for others is an essential part of most people’s mental well being. When the people we care for reject our care, this can deeply hurt our self-esteem and sense of purpose. The more helpless we become as caregivers, the more desperate and vulnerable those whom we care for become.

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NVR addresses the needs of people who encounter distress and helplessness in the relation of caregiving. NVR aims to empower caregivers as persons in their own right, and through that, it helps to alleviate the distress that helpless caregiving can induce in others. NVR’s journey from helplessness to empowerment is guided by a vision of care as a coming-together to stand against harm in a non-harming way.

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NVR is widely practiced and taught in Europe and in Israel. Professional associations and networks devoted to NVR exist in the UK, the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The global NVR community has held international conferences devoted to innovation in NVR theory and practice and since 2021. NVR is making its first steps in Canada and in the United States.

NVR uses many tools to achieve non-harming resistance to harm, but in itself is not a tool, or even a toolbox: it is a philosophy and a value system of care.

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Several formulations of NVR’s principles exist. The following represents an overview:

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• Non escalating struggle as the way to presence.

• Maintaining presence is the single most important component of care giving.

• Escalating responses to child aggression or anxiety weaken presence.

• Non-escalatory resistance maintains presence.

• Self-control: all one can ever hope to control is oneself, therefore, the key to changing others is by changing oneself.

 

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DELAY

Time is a parent’s best friend. Avoiding instant reactions makes way for more thoughtful and effective solutions. Empowerment begins in admitting helplessness and renouncing the concept, other than regulating, that something can be done “here and now”, to heal my child, or my authority.

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PERSISTENCE

“You don’t have to win, just to persist” 

“Your way” is not about winning, but rather about clarity of purpose and persistence."

 

SUPPORT

“It takes a village to raise a child”.

Any parental campaign for non-violent self-change should be supported by the family’s organic social network of relatives, friends and where possible even neighbours.

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CONCRETENESS AND FOCUS

Behavioural goals should be concretely defined and carefully chosen and prioritized. But they are self-goals. 

 

These courses are run over 8 weeks and have 2 weeks 1:1.

 

They can be run with individual families or groups, self-funded or Local Authority funded.

 

For further information, please contact me via email at fskcounselling@yahoo.co.uk

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